1. Battle Without Honor or Humanity - Tomoyasu Hotei
This is the classic opening track for this kind of mix. When I was younger, my father (who is secretly as nerdy as I am) used to talk about what he would wish for if he were granted 3 wishes. The point was, you can't wish for things like money and women, because you can potentially get those in real life without magical intervention. So you have to use them for things like super-powers and such, things you could never, ever acquire in real life. The one that I always wanted was slow motion musical montage scenes in my real life. You know, those killer scenes in movies where the music plays as the hero or villain or whomever, enters all in slow motion with kick ass music in the background, and everyone just seems to pick up on how bad-ass they are, but no one looks around and goes, "where the fuck is this music coming from?" I want that to happen in my life. These are some of the songs that I have chosen for such occasions, this one possibly being the best. I mean, Quentin Tarantino used it in Kill Bill to make Lucy Liu and a bunch of skinny Asian kids look cool, so it would have to work for me, right? OK, so maybe not, but the tune is bitchin'.
2. Name of the Game - The Crystal Method
This one is basically required on any mix of this type. Like Rob Dougan's "Clubbed to Death", which we'll get around to later, it's some sort of law of physics that this appear in action films. It's in Blade II, Resident Evil, Half Past Dead, Ballistic: Ecks Vs. Sever (the first movie ever made totally devoid of plot) Drillbit Taylor, Tropic Thunder, and countless others. Blade II was my favorite usage, where Blade rolls up into the vampire dance bar with his little team of Vampire Commandos, remember that? Great use of the lyric, "Calling all freaks!" Wesley Snipes never looked so fucking cool (and sadly, never did again.)
3. 24 - Jem
When I first played this for someone, about 3 years ago when I was first collecting these kinds of tunes, that someone turned up her cute little nose and went, "Jem?" with a sneer of disgust. I have no idea what that was about. I also have never heard another Jem song ever, so who knows what sort of drivel she normally puts out, but this track is pretty cool. It's the theme from the trailer to a totally weird-o action flick called Ultraviolet, the plot of which made my brain a little sore. It was like watching live action anime, where the dialogue and plot have been translated from the Japanese and make little to no sense. It stars Mila Jovavich (yum) as some kind of super-enhanced chameleon soldier-babe who we find out is also a socially shunned genetically engineered vampiress kung-fu master. See what I mean about the anime thing? The Japanese seem to LOVE unexplainable vampire action. Anyway, the trailer is on the DVD disc, and it's a pretty classic example of the idea that sometimes, all you need to do is see the trailer and skip the movie. I did not, but watchig Mila drop kick motherfuckers while wearing skin tight leather pants is always worth 6 bucks at the matinee, right?
4. Another Body Drops - Cypress Hill
Because it ain't an action movie mix without a little hard core hip-hop and weed smokin', we bring you Cypress Hill. This track is featured in a way cool little trailer for a flick called Harsh Times, which is possibly the only movie in the world with Christian Bale in it that nobody ever saw. Seriously, Christian Bale's agent must be fucking Jesus Christ. I mean, the guy is John Connor AND Batman? Really? Fuck it, I wanna be Spiderman AND the Joker AND Superman. Naw, never mind, Superman is way too gay.
5. Just Like You Imagined - Nine Inch Nails
The trancy-intense tune from the trailer for 300, this was a gem of a find. I almost enjoyed the trailer more than the film. Then again, the film is basically the following conversation,
Ugly Persian Dude: "Hey, Nekkid Greek King, gimme your land and your women."
Nekkid Greek King: "Fuck you, Ugly Persian Dude, you'll have to kill me and my 299 Nekkid Greek Buddies, who are not at all gay for each other no matter how nekkid we might be. Just ask my hot wife who's wearing way more clothes than I am."
Hot Greek Wife: "Yeah, Fuck You, Ugly Persian Dude, you'll have to kill them all, no matter how gay for each other they are!"
299 Nekkid Greek Buddies: "Yeah, you'll have to kill us all, Ugly Persian Dude!"
Ugly Persian Dude: "Ummm, ... awkward ... but, OK."
(Ugly Persian Dude then kills all the Nekkid Greek Gay Guys and their King. Oh well.)
Anyway, the song is cool, and the trailer is on the DVD. Enjoy the inevitability.
Ugly Persian Dude: "Hey, Nekkid Greek King, gimme your land and your women."
Nekkid Greek King: "Fuck you, Ugly Persian Dude, you'll have to kill me and my 299 Nekkid Greek Buddies, who are not at all gay for each other no matter how nekkid we might be. Just ask my hot wife who's wearing way more clothes than I am."
Hot Greek Wife: "Yeah, Fuck You, Ugly Persian Dude, you'll have to kill them all, no matter how gay for each other they are!"
299 Nekkid Greek Buddies: "Yeah, you'll have to kill us all, Ugly Persian Dude!"
Ugly Persian Dude: "Ummm, ... awkward ... but, OK."
(Ugly Persian Dude then kills all the Nekkid Greek Gay Guys and their King. Oh well.)
Anyway, the song is cool, and the trailer is on the DVD. Enjoy the inevitability.
6. Stick 'Em Up - Quarashi
And here, we have a pretty rocking rapcore tune by Quarashi, from that hot-bed of hip-hop style, Reykjavik, Iceland.
Yup, Iceland.
This tune has the distinction of being the only bit of music in the trailer for and film release of 2 fast 2 Furious that DOESN'T feature Ludacris in some way. Warning, this tune WILL earn you several speeding tickets if listened to in the car. It also features the classic hip-hop line, "There's a party at your house/'Cuz yo momma is a Stripper." Need I say more?
7. She Makes Me Wanna Die - Tricky (Stereo MC's Remix)
This was, without question, the most difficult of the tracks on this mix to hunt down. It appears in the film The Replacement Killers, as sort of the intro music for Miro Sorvino and, well, her bra. She is to die for, so it's an understandable usage, but the track was freakin' wicked difficult to find at the time. I must have downloaded a half a dozen versions of this tune, and none of them were the right one. This is also one of those songs that gets used in the film but inexplicably does not appear on the soundtrack. We HATE that (by we, I mean me.) Anyway, something like 4 years after the movie came out I found this on the B-side of an Import single version of some other song that I bought off of Amazon from some used record store in Kazakhstan, I think. I listened to it non-stop for a week, I was so happy.
8. Rockstar - N*E*R*D* (Jason Nevins Remix)
This one is the one that might have you scratching your head a bit when you get to the DVD Special Features portion. I first heard it in the trailer for a crappy little Jimmy Fallon movie called Taxi (it later appeared in the trailer for The Fast and the Furious:Tokyo Drift, but we are not worrying about that right now.) This is definitely one of those trailers that you can watch and then forgo actually seeing the film, you get all the good stuff out of it in three minutes. When you watch the trailer clip on the DVD, you'll be thinking, "Jeff, why the HELL did you put this crappy movie trailer in here??!?!? Yeah, the N*E*R*D track is pretty hoppin', but this looks STUPID! Queen Latifah as a NY Cab Driver? A suped-up Taxi chasing bank robbers? And is that ... oh ... wait ... that's Giselle Bundchen ... and she's taking her clothes off ... wow ... dude ... Good choice! Man, do I wanna be Tom Brady!" Yup, that's what you'll be thinking.
9. Chun Li's Spinning Bird Kick - The Arctic Monkeys
This is the only track on the mix that is not, in fact, in any movie trailer or action flick that I know of. However, it TOTALLY SHOULD BE! I mean, look, first it's named after an old school Street Fighter character's signature move. Second, it's a pretty rockin' little instrumental track that'll have you way wired up, it's tons of fun. If it doesn't AT LEAST end up int the upcoming sure-to-be-a-bomb Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li, well, that'd be a big waste. Then again, since the last Street Fighter film died such a horrible death (think, it had Van Damme in it. Yeah it was that bad) maybe we don't wanna put the Arctic Monkeys through such a debacle. This new flick does have the tasty Kristin Kruek of Smallville fame in it, but it also has Michael Clarke Duncan reprising his role as some really big dude, so....
10. Unrecorded - M83
Possibly the most ironically named song ever, this is easily the most obscure track on this mix. I had never heard of the band, but was captivated by the music the first time I saw the trailer for the Russian action sci-fi horror blockbuster Night Watch. Very moody and intense, too bad the movie was only kind of a little bit interesting. This one'll end up in loads of stuff in the future, I'm betting.
11. Rock n Roll Queen - The Subways
Guy Ritchie and I are all good again, now that he heavily featured The Subways in his new flick, RockNRolla. They have been my new favorite band since I saw them at SXSW a couple of years ago, and I can not believe they are still together. The little English 3 piece garage rock band that could is made up of some 20 something guitar prodigy, his step-brother on drums, and his waifish punk rock blond pixie girlfriend on bass. In other words, in the world of sex, drugs, and rock and roll they are most likely fucked. I love both albums, and was super stoked to see that not only is this, their first single, featured in the trailer for Ritchie's film, but the song and the band themselves appear in the scene in the movie where the titular character beats the shit out of some wanker English bar bouncer. Also, it gave me the excuse to use the word, "titular."
12. Weapons of Mass Distortion - The Crystal Method
This showed up in Blade: Trinity, the Bourne Ultimatum trailer, some video game called Far Cry, and about a million other places. This one always makes me wanna hit people. Maybe it's because one of the douche-nozzles from Limp Bizkit layed down the guitar riffs. Limp Bizkit really peaked (if you can call it that) with the theme for Mission Impossible II, which I am a little surprised got omitted from this mix. Perhaps on disc 2...?
13. Cells (Instrumental) - The Servant
This was the 2nd hardest track to find for this compilation, because it was never actually released as an instrumental. Robert Rodriguez, evil genius that he is, had this specially mixed for the Sin City trailer, and it sent folks into a tizzy, me included, trying to find it. The tune with the lyrics in it is pretty cool, but this one just gives you that feeling of bad-ass-ness that makes you wanna live your whole life in black and white and continually refer to women as "broads."
14. I Against I - Mos Def & Massive Attack
One of my favorite songs on this mix, actually, and the one I almost always forget is here until I get to it. Released on the soundtrack to Blade II (yeah, I own it. I went to the freakin' world premiere. I'm a nerd.) which was a pretty cool record featuring tracks that were all collaborations between rappers and Dance music veterans. Mos and I are old school homeboys, and his lyrics on this track are some intensely bad ass verbal kung-fu that'll have you strutting about like the tough guy that you are not, really.
15. Clubbed to Death - Rob Dougan
Ever since this track was heavily featured in the original Matrix trailer and film, it has pretty much become the industry standard for action trailers. In fact, there's a Directors Guild union by-law now that says if your trailer contains images of hot chicks in leather pants kicking people in the face, this track must be included. While checking out the DVD extras, listen for it in both the Blade: Trinity and Ultraviolet trailers, both of which feature hot chicks in leather pants kicking people in the face. That's really the only reason I go to the movies between May and August.
16. Extreme Ways - Moby
It just seemed appropriate to end a mix of music from action movies with the track that has ended all 3 Bourne films. This mix is the one from the end of Identity and Supremacy, I'm not super fond of the remix they did for Ultimatum. Anyway, now that you've listened to all this pumped up action adventure, and your adrenaline is flowing and you feel like you've conquered evil for today, you can sit back and enjoy the credits. Thanks for listening.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)